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Does abstinence mean self-control? What are 'safe sex' and 'safer sex'? Are 'safe sex' and 'safer sex' safe? Is it unhealthy to suppress sexual urges? Will he/she think I don't love him/her if I don't have sex? How do I keep mysqlf from giving in to sexual urges? Is it okay just to think about sex? What is True Love WaitsTLW is an international campaign designed to challenge teenagers and single adults to remain sexually pure until marriage. The campaign was created and continues to be coordinated by the Baptist Sunday School Board of Nashville, Tennessee. Where did TLW originate?Richard Ross, a youth leader was approached by two girls who stated how stupid they felt being the only virgins in Junior High. At their ages, Ross felt that virgins would certainly be in the majority but he was concerned that society has shifted so much that virginal teenagers felt they were in the minority. Ross become concerned that teenagers needed a way to discover how many of there peers were still pure. He developed the idea of having youth from across the USA sign covenant cards promising to remain sexually pure until marriage, collecting them and displaying them at a South Baptist Convention meeting as witness of the willingness of young people to choose abstinence as a lifestyle. Where is TLW now?The message of TLW has universal appeal and has spread thoughout the world to 76 countries, of which South Africa is one. The ResponseTLW was launched in South Africa in 1994 through CFT (Christians For Truth) an interdenominational Christian Association. The response of the South African youth has been overwhelmingly positive. TLW has reached about 350 000 pledges (May 2001). TLW has appeared in several publications such as YOU and the Femina, as well as featuring on a number of national radio stations such as Radio 702 and Capital Radio. Why such an action?Society is riddled with STD's and AIDS as well as unwanted pregnancies. The South African youth are swimming against the tide of moral decay and will not be influenced by state institutions that say that the relentless urge to satisfy you sexual desire is to live a life with the 'just do it' instinct. What's the pledge?Believing that true love waits, I make a pledge to God, myself, my family and my future spouse, to be sexually pure until marriage, by the grace of God. Why is TLW a success?* It's newsworthy. * The message is positive. * The campaign has a clear focus on abstinence. * The campaign is easy to accept and participate in. How can I be of assistance?Financial support will be much appreciated. Does abstinence mean self-control?We have two kinds of desires - of the body and the mind. The body’s desire are physical whereas the mind seeks knowledge, goodness, beauty etc. Self-control puts these desires in the correct order. The mind should control the body so that physical desires do not control your life. Whats wrong with 'safe sex'?There are three main problems: What are 'safe sex' and 'safer sex'?These two terms mean using condoms and spermicide. This is supposed to give some protection from pregnancy and STD’s, but offers no protection from the emotional problems that result from premature sexual activity. Are 'safe sex' and 'safer sex' safe?AIDS/HIV transmission is possible with condoms as they are sometimes not completely safe. There are defects in some condoms. Is it unhealthy to suppress sexual urges?NO! Have you ever heard of anyone dying from lack of sex? If you have an urge to kill someone, you cannot act on this urge; or make it an acceptable or lawful action. The same applies to sex before marriage. Rather direct all that energy into something you enjoy, like sport, or other positive activities. It is possible to control these urges. Do not go places, read books or magazines, watch something that will stimulate these urges. Will he/she think I don't love him/her if I don't have sex?Love is not just a question of physical attraction. Love is also respect for the other person, especially for moral values that person has chosen to live his/her life by. If someone doesn't respect your values, your integrity, your decisions, do they really respect you as a person? Do they really love you? How do I keep mysqlf from giving in to sexual urges?To remain in control of our sexual urges, we need to control the environment we choose to be in. Make lifestyle choices that will support your decision to practice TRUE LOVE. If you wear sexy clothes, carry “sporting goods”, hang out with people who have sex, go to a place where people have sex and think about hugging and kissing and sex, what do you think will happen? Is it okay just to think about sex?Daydreaming or fantasizing about sex is the first step in the process of sexual arousal. If you focus your thoughts on sex, you will sabotage your decision to remain abstinent. You have to be aware of your own limitations; if you find that certain programmes or commercials turn you on, turn them off. Porn makes sex an end in itself, totally divorced from any aspect of love. Talking about sex will also make you think about sex. So? Can I still sign a pledge card if I’ve been raped?Rape is something that is forced onto a person. It is not an act that anyone does of their own free will. Therefore, if you desire to remain sexually pure until marriage you may gladly sign the card. What about masturbation - that’s not intercourse?All sexual activity involves the mucus membranes. This means that all sexual activity may transmit the AIDS virus. With mutual masturbation which some people recommend - once you start, you become stimulated very quickly and it takes will power to stop short of actually having intercourse. With self masturbation, many people advise that this is the safest way to express sexual urges without risk. Masturbation is addictive. The TLW pledge is one of sexual purity. TLW cannot supply a list of guidelines as to how far each person can go. The decision and consequences thereof, you will have to live with. |
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